Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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