Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
