'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize