Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
