take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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