Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize