i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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