Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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