Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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