bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
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