garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
