i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
