I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
