somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Randomize
