By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
