i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
