dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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