I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
