I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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