Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
