Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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