Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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