Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
