cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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