i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
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