it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
