i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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