So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
