i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
