We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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