What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
