you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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