I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize