If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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