I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
