You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
