can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
