I just threw up on my dentist
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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