I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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