why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
