I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
