I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
