Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
