tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
