Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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