I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
