the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
