I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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