is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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