Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
two words...techno handjob
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
