I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
