weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Dignity is for republicans.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
