Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
