Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
