Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
