smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
