Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Randomize
