Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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