he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize