piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
