Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
