youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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