clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
