I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
