Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
