I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
