your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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