If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
