ugly people sure do ruin things
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
