i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
