I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
