Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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