You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
