So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
