PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
