this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
