You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
